LoveVictory

When I was in post-degree training in family and marital therapy, the professor reminded us that everything we say, think and do as a therapist or researcher will hold true about 85-90 per cent of the time.  Expect to be surprised and to revise your understanding of your clients—and you. The same can be said for life’s tendency to deal us wild cards that challenge our trust in the world and our self-view.  Being a stranger to yourself … [Read more...]

If you are a human being, you likely receive negative messages throughout your life from family, friends, partners, colleagues or bosses.  You can’t totally escape other people’s jealousy, misunderstandings, immaturity, assumptions, selfishness or hidden agendas. When I was doing my research of more than 1,000 successful women about their love problems, I saw curious and often worrisome findings about managing negative messages. It was … [Read more...]

I’ve been asked many times questions such as:  What are the top things women should do if they are looking for true love?  What should women know about finding a caring and respected mate? In my research of more than a thousand women, I learned many surprising things about how to get smart about choosing a man wisely.  If I absolutely had to pick just one thing, it would be this factor:  Know You! It sounds so easy—but it’s not.  … [Read more...]

So you and your colleague and teammate won the Big Deal Award.  You deserved it. You spent many nights together at work, ate food that came wrapped in paper, let your make up smudge, and your hair go flat.  You felt comfortable enough to yawn, really sneeze, take off your shoes, and eat food with garlic. You let your personal problems seep through your moods and conversation, and you sparked him to do the same. You made a great team—the … [Read more...]

When I was doing research for my study about the love and work life of today’s successful women, I wasn’t surprised that the issue of when to have sex with a new partner was one of their top questions.  What did surprise me was how many women regretted having sex too soon—or at all with some of their dates. I was curious and concerned why this resolve failed.  I discovered a few key reasons and solutions.  Of course, this list can’t … [Read more...]

One of the more dangerous states of mind for women is being unhappy with life, love, and work. Chronic dissatisfaction can lead to depression, diminished sense of self-worth, emotional cowardice, obesity, substance abuse, and suicide attempts. In my study of more than one thousand women and their dating and mating experiences, I learned that the women with high-profile, high income careers often had a very difficult time recovering from … [Read more...]

When I was doing research for my book about women, love, and dating for professionals one of the top questions that the women asked was:  “How do I think with my head and heart?”  The question stemmed from regrets about falling in love too soon and too blindly.  In the cartoon below Cookie is on a second date with Joe.  She hasn’t had a date in a very long time because she got so hurt that she avoided any possibility of making a … [Read more...]

Make Sure You Are Not All Work and No Play I’ve been conducting research for several years about the dating, mating, and relating mistakes of today’s career-minded women and executives. I write and research about things that bother me, and I had been puzzled for a long time about why so many smart women who are capable and competent at work are clueless when it comes to men. Since I am both a psychologist and licensed clinical social … [Read more...]